Postcards from Sacramento

Everyone was so amazing

2011-12-30T11:31:00.000-08:00

I have been cleaning my apartment. More to the point, I've been purging all the trinkets, papers, notes and cards (and all the bills and boring documents) I've accumulated since I was in college. I've carted this trove around with me for over 15 years. Nearly half of my life and more than half of the time I've been a sentient being with the ability to make a decision to throw something out. (I struggle mightily against the hoarding gene I've inherited from my mother and grandfather.)

I'm actually glad I've kept so much, and at least a quarter of these items are going back in the keepsake box. There's the letters from my grandmother, and my mom's best friend, even a couple of cards from my family that were especially nice (before everything fell apart). But my favorite things are the graduation card that Eshanthika made me, all of the Christmas cards that Judy sent me, and the letters that Alex wrote me while he was teaching English in Japan. More recent acquisitions include a stack of awesome birthday cards from friends over the years.

If I have one regret (though truthfully I have many), it is that I wasn't able to fully appreciate how lovely everyone has been to me over the course of my life, in the moments in which these sentiments were expressed. Life is so busy- mine in particular- and technology makes everything so inconsequential, that I've lost sight of the time and effort that used to go into cultivating friendships. So many letters, emails, conversations, shared experiences.

Like a good little Buddhist, I'll simply express gratitude for the opportunity to realize this now, and hope to take it with me as I go forward.

FOMO

2011-12-22T18:27:00.001-08:00

I have a ridiculous fear of missing out (FOMO). I have always been this way, but hopefully I won't always will (if you will). I am currently waffling over my new year's eve plans because I'm afraid something amazing will happen in Sacramento, even though I'd tentatively accepted an invitation to see Trombone Shorty at the Fillmore and spend the evening in the city.

In my defense, I'm broke. But when have I ever let that stop me before?

I know it's not the brokeness, it's this latent homebody that I seem to have channeled very recently. Something really crazy and amazing could happen here. It wouldn't be the first time.

Coming out of the dark

2011-11-14T07:17:00.001-08:00

I stopped posting so frequently here for three reasons. First, the snafu with the Bee, when they published my Christmas lament without my permission. Second, my job, which makes me wary of writing about political issues -- since I don't want to give the impression that I can't be impartial via opining on political issues. And finally, Facebook has usurped all my blogging energy.

I no longer care whether the Bee publishes what I say. I willingly volunteer my opinions on occasion. My job has clarified its social media policy in such a way that I feel comfortable offering most of my opinions, and I still trust my judgement to know what's beyond the pale.

That leaves Facebook's siren song. I think the format of my blog makes me feel compelled to write large swaths of content, and facebook offers me a way to post and quickly spark conversations that I can dip into and leave as time permits. Blogging used to be more like that but has, for me, become more of a one-way street. So I'm looking for a way to combine the two. To start, I shall cross post, and go from there.

An ode to Grandma

2011-09-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

My grandmother passed away on Wednesday. She had melanoma, and in the end, her death was swift. I was there - I arrived Tuesday around 2pm and said my goodbyes to her that night. She was basically in a coma, the result of brain tumors from the cancer. I feel badly that I didn't grasp the seriousness of her condition-- I'd planned to visit at the end of September, thinking I had a couple months to say my goodbyes. But between the time they found new tumors in her lungs (June) and discovered lesions in her brain (late August), she only had weeks.

Our relationship was complicated- largely by my ongoing issues with my mom-- and we didn't talk as much over the past several years as I would have liked. But I do have some good memories-- like when, in 2008, she was so excited to vote for Obama in the Montana Democratic primary (which fell on her birthday), and our 2006 family reunion at McMenamin's Edgefield, which she was pretty proud of herself for coordinating.I also liked to brag that my grandmother was adept at using email, digital cameras and instant messenger.

My Gramma Dorothy (as she signed her letters and cards) was a strong personality, which I'm sure is no surprise to anyone who knows me. She was very politically active and instrumental in establishing the art gallery in Polson, MT, after it was forced to move from the town library. As I was preparing to leave town to visit on Monday night, I took stock of how many things I've kept that she's given me. I have a few quilts, a painting, numerous cards and a box made from tea tree wood that she sent me when I was all of nine or ten.

I wish a lot of things could be different, but taken together, I'm glad to have known my grandmother and to carry her spirit forward. Rest in peace, Gramma Dorothy. I love you.

On the 10th Anniversary

2011-09-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

Taken from my friend Camille's Facebook status:"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo."So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Altruism as justification for hedonism

2011-09-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

I've never been able to prioritize well. I just sleep less and hope for the best.

But this year has been especially frenetic. Unlike in previous years, when all my free time was consumed by hanging out with friends doing things like bowling, drinking and talking, a bit of yoga and meditation, but generally just undirected laying about, this year has been fundamentally different. This is the year I woke up and realized my life was almost half over, and that, despite wanting to make significant societal contributions, my gifts had thus far consisted of money spent at bars, restaurants and clothing retailers. To be fair, I have contributed somewhat on the job, as the nature of my work is ostensibly to help improve state government. But, given that my coworkers are all entering the child rearing, generative phase of their lives, I was feeling sorely lacking.

So, acknowledging the guilt I was feeling, I sucked it up. I made (somewhat-- though perhaps not sufficiently--successful) efforts to address the flaws in my approach to work, as identified by my bosses. When a professor/mentor/colleague/friend called to recommend I apply for the redistricting advisory committee, I did. When my meditation teacher asked me to join a group of experienced practitioners in leading sessions, I agreed to participate. When another friend suggested I join the event planning committee for a homeless services agency fundraiser, I embraced it. When two friends from grad school contacted me about raising our school's profile and better engaging alumni, I enthusiastically agreed to help build a better organization. And, like always, I continued to volunteer when friends needed help.

But did I stop bowling? (Maybe just a little, for redistricting.) Did I stop eating out every other meal? (No, in fact, due to my even busier schedule, I probably eat out more now.) Did I stop imbibing just a little too much? (Heck no.) Did I curtail my shopping trips? (Only a smidgen.) Did I graciously but responsibly reject party invitations? (It is hilarious that I would voice this question, even rhetorically.)

However, today I am reminded of a moment back in February when I felt internal consternation at the hedonistic tenor my life had taken on, and I realize that I've only addressed half the problem. This is in large part due to my philosophy that good works entitle a person to good times. And so, like always, I've maintained a commitment to most every other thing in my life, and I've been unwilling to forgo a lot of the fun stuff. I continue to operate according to the opinion that, given my lack of direct responsibility to individuals (i.e. children, spouse), I shouldn't have to sacrifice fun for helping others.

(BTW, looking for volunteer opportunities in October!)

I might be ready to dial back the fun for a little more substance these days. I remember when I was in grad school and left my science curriculum job to work for a non-profit that helped build organizational capacity in small health-focused non-profits. That was really fulfilling work that prompted me to look for other opportunities to improve my community as well -- but at that point I felt too inexperienced to make much of a contribution. Now I face a different obstacle. Now, I can't help but feel stymied in my efforts to contribute because I am not following the general path of getting married, having kids, etc. that most women my age are already well along, and I feel like I have no credibility to speak for others when I'm not speaking from a place of shared self-interest based on shared experience. Sometimes, probably egotistically, I think that I'm trying to chart a new course for adulthood that doesn't involve traditional work and family structures, but mostly I just feel left out. In some ways, the altruism/hedonism dialectic allows me to feel less weird, because I can just attribute the no spouse/family thing to protracted adultolescence. (As an aside, this prompts me to think about corporate culture in an online, constantly surveilled world, and my evolving belief that no one should judge anyone for their personal choices, but I'll leave that for another post.)

In any case, I think my head and heart are in the right place, and it's just time I decided to grow up.

Someday Soon

2011-08-18T07:21:00.001-07:00

I haven't updated in a while-- too busy fighting the good fight on all fronts. I will remedy that situation soon. It feels like 2004 all over again.

An education

2011-07-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

Remember when I wrote about city redistricting? Specifically, my hope that the committee would publicly and fairly vet ideas based on their merit, and that, by doing so, the council would have to heed the recommendations of the committee? The recommendations that were based on public input and our understanding of redistricting principles?

Well, I got wind that that was not going to be the case, so I wrote what I hoped was a good defense of our process, and got it published in the paper yesterday. I knew it wouldn't matter, though, and, if you read Cosmo Garvin's account of last night's events, you will see that it didn't.

And so concludes my first direct experience with city politics.

Self-censorship

2011-07-25T16:52:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I think the biggest key to success is being willing to say what you think and not caring about the consequences. I also often wish I had this ability.

Vacation?

2011-07-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

I have this week off work. Much like the last time I had a week off (back in April), I have a to-do list that's at least a mile long. It includes visiting various businesses and individuals to get auction items put together for this charity event for which I'm on the event committee. I'm giving at least two hours each afternoon to this effort. I'm going to spend the mornings trying to figure out what to do with my life, and the rest of the time, I have to clean. A friend of mine from college, who I haven't seen since graduation, is coming to stay with me while she's on tour in September.

I wish I had some free cash, I'd go visit my grandparents in Montana, or my friends in DC. But debt and duty calls, so I'm staying here.

Goal of the week

2011-06-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

Hey, this sounds like a good idea. Instead of, or in addition to, yearly, quarterly and monthly goals, why not add one goal a week to my regimen?

Sounds good to me. My goal for this week is to only check facebook 3 times per day.

So, if you need me, you best send email!

Staying earthy

2011-06-14T07:12:00.001-07:00

A few years ago, I tore a horoscope out of the Sacramento News and Review and put it in my wallet. Despite some questions as to the veracity of its claims about language, ti still does a good job of reminding me what I'm doing today:

"Leo - Never before in the history of the English language have the words "wildfire" and "devotion" appeared side by side. And yet here they are now, together at last, conspiring to convey a subtly spectacular meaning to you. It's time, my dear Leo, for you to practice wildfire devotion: to be both earthy and vehement, to blend incendiary style with deeply rooted commitment, to be as flamingly relentless as a wildfire in your staunch devotion to your future's most potent dream."

Today, the mention of the word "earthy" is particularly resonant. People tend to use that term in a negative context to encourage me to be more girly/feminine, to wear makeup or display more cleavage or some other more obvious signal of using sexuality to get attention. I've never been very good at being a girly girl and I don't feel authentic when I try to be. Furthermore, the unapologetic feminist in me refuses to conform to this societal pressure to use traditional gender dynamics to my advantage--which is what I view these entreaties to be. I'm sure its not intended to insult me, but I happen to like being "earthy." It gives me integrity and credibility, and, I hope, helps move the needle toward a society in which how one looks doesn't define one's success.

Redistricting - serious, fun

2011-05-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

Did you know that I have spent every Monday night for the past month (save this one) at the City Council chambers at City Hall? I am doing so because I have the honor of serving as an at-large member of the Sacramento Redistricting Citzens Advisory Committee. The committee consists of 14 members-- 9 appointed by the City Council and the Mayor and 5 by the Pensions and Public Employees Committee through an open application process (which is how I came to be appointed)-- and has been tasked with reviewing submissions from the public and making recommendations to the City Council regarding the boundaries of these districts. Ultimately, the City Council has the final say on how the districts are drawn, but I think that as long as the committee engages in an open, transparent and logical approach to evaluating the maps and developing its recommendations, then the City Council has considerable incentive to use the recommendations as the basis for its process, and to not deviate too dramatically from them.

We are doing this because every ten years, the city has to redraw its district boundaries based on Census results. Since the last time the district boundaries were drawn, the city's population has increased by 14%, and the majority of that growth has occurred in the Natomas area.
To leave this imbalance in place would violate the doctrine of "one person, one vote" (aka equipopulous distribution), since, as the map shows, District 1 has doubled in size since the last time districts were drawn (in 2001).

In addition to ensuring districts of equal size, the committee should also be sensitive to the provisions of the Voting Rights Act-- which, for the purposes of our process, means avoiding drawing districts to prevent minorities that could have constituted the majority within a district from having such a majority. This has to fit within an overall redistricting framework that keeps districts compact and contiguous where practicable, preserves neighborhoods and other community boundaries to the extent possible, reflects cognizance of geographic and topographic features and is mindful of the desires of various communities of interest.

The deadline to submit maps to the city was May 16th. We received a total of 37 maps, which can be found at this link. Since then, we've eliminated several maps because they did not maintain relatively equal populations.

Aside from equal population, the committee has yet to prioritize these criteria within an evaluative framework. Last Monday, we directed staff to provide qualitative assessments of how well or how poorly each map satisfies the criteria. I imagine we may vote to prioritize these criteria next week.

Civics education

2011-05-02T23:22:00.000-07:00

It is really lacking. That is all.

Name change?

2011-04-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

So, here's an idea with a bit of context:

I recently ran into an acquaintance who referred to me as Maya: Woman About Town, and suggested I use it as my tagline.

I like it. Maybe I will change this blog's name from Postcards from Sacramento to Mayagirl about Town.

Hmmm? It has a nice ring to it.

Nacheez!

2011-04-21T09:16:00.000-07:00

My lovely friend Ilsa has officially launched her vegan nacho cheese sauce, Nacheez. It's made from raw cashews, filtered water, lemon juice and red peppers. I've been buying it from her kitchen for the past year and a half, and I'm really excited to see her get coverage from

Good Day Sacramento, and very happy that it was well-received!

It's an amazing product. Go buy some at Never Felt Better above Sugar Plum Vegan in midtown!

FriTunes

2011-04-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

It's been two weeks since I posted!

Today, I bring you the marquee track from the Scissor Sisters' new album, "Night Work." I head to the Warfield for the show tonight.

I get to hang with my cousin for a minute, too.

Festivals

2011-04-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. I'm skipping Wanderlust this year after attending two years in a row. I would like to go, and I requested the week off work for the purpose of attending, but every year the music gets less appealing and this year has definitely taken a back seat to the yoga. As much as I enjoy practicing with famous teachers all over the world, I'm less amenable to the bikini model/gymnast/dancer exhibitionism that increasingly pervades the festival. As accepting as I've tried to be of my body and to be focused inward, and to appreciate what I can do without judgment, I haven't yet become so enlightened that a constant onslaught of Baywatch does yoga doesn't have an effect on my enjoyment.

I get enough awesome yoga here in Sacramento, and I can always go take a class with Rusty Wells, Janet Stone, Jason Crandell, etc in SF for a lot less than the price of a Wanderlust day pass. So it would seem, instead that this year is about enjoying music festivals. To that end, last week I made sure to secure tickets to Outside Lands in August. And I secured lodging at a friend's in a part of town that I really like and isn't far from the park.

I now have to stop spending money immediately. My outflow has been a little outrageous this year.

FriTunes

2011-04-01T13:23:00.001-07:00

Because I used to find a new song every Friday and post it. As you may know, I think Daft Punk is one of the greatest music groups ever. Today, I pre-ordered the remix album based on their TRON: LEGACY soundtrack. Amazon has the Glitch Mob remix of Derezzed posted in the Daft Punk store and will post a new track every day until the album is released. It's worth a listen- the preview didn't do it justice.

tUnE-yArDs - 'Bizness'

2011-03-31T10:06:00.000-07:00

This is pretty inspiring stuff. Cool concept, lyrics, music and visual expression.

New Blogger Designs

2011-03-31T06:35:00.001-07:00

Blogger announced new templates at SXSW. I'm trying one out. As long as I can change the background picture to the current masthead picture (which requires me finding it), I think I can make this work. The new design is very clean. Good job, Blogger!

Good week

2011-03-27T17:22:00.000-07:00

I had to go to Long Beach for work this past week. I arrived on Monday expecting a big pile of work that never really materialized, though I certainly have a lot of stuff waiting for me when I return to my regular tasks tomorrow.

I took advantage of the SoCal location to check out my college roomie Rob's improv show at iO west. The show was called "Buffet of Champions," and it used stand-up comedian bits to provide the improv inspiration. I have a healthy love of improv comedy, largely the result of Rob's participation in it when we were in school. The show was amusing, and Rob's humor has remained delightfully dirty and incongruous. After the show we caught up, and outside on the street ran into another friend of mine from college who also lives in LA and works in "the industry," (as do all my friends from college that live in LA), who happened to be friends with another woman in the same group of performers. I hadn't seen her since graduation, though we are facebook friends. I love the serendipity of that encounter.

Speaking of facebook-mediated serendipity, on Thursday I posted that I wanted to go to see the Scissor Sisters. A friend of mine saw that and linked me up with her sister and we decided to go see the show. I also saw that my cousin, who lives in Minneapolis, was going to be in LA that day, so I messaged him about getting dinner that night, as I had already scheduled dinner with my dad. Lo and behold, Mr. Super-busy was semi-available, so after my dad picked me up we drove to Costa Mesa to get my cousin. We had snacks and drinks at a brewery near South Coast Plaza before dropping my cousin off at Bloomies for a dinner meeting. My dad was pretty pleased. I was too, because it turns out my cousin is a big fan of Scissor Sisters too, and is going to be in SF the day before the show. I convinced him to stay at least another night and go to the show with us.

All in all, it was a pretty good week.

Coming soon...

2011-03-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

You know how sometimes I get into manic phases and start a ton of projects simultaneously? This is one of those times.

Coming soon:
www.sacmacattack.com

Sacramento Sport and Social Club Team Trivia (I'll be running this league, so if you're interested, message me for details!)

Back brace

2011-03-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

I went to a workshop at Forest Vance Training in Land Park yesterday, designed by my chiropractor and Forest Vance. The topic was corrective exercises, which is a fancy way of saying that, as humans, we develop certain postural amd muscular imbalances that require specific exercises to mitigate against. I am particularly prone to neck problems because I work in front of a computer many, many hours of the day (not just during work).

Essentially, working on these problems requires a near-myopic focus on developing core strength. As a longtime yoga practitioner, I despaired a little at the exercises taught in this workshop, because in yoga we do core work ALL THE DANG TIME!

Hopefully a little training-style work in addition to the yoga will help improve things, but I think what I really need is a back brace that keeps my shoulders pulled back and my stomach sucked in at all times. I think they have those in the old people catalog.

Topics of interest

2011-03-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

I really am working on redesigning this blog. Here is a list of categories I'm thinking of using-- both to organize my life and my blog:

Sacramento
Policy/Politics/Work
Food/CSA/Organic Ag
Wine/Booze
Yoga/Meditation/Wellness
Cycling/Running/Fitness
Knitting/Crafting
Reading - books, magazines, internet
Pop Culture/Fashion
Cleaning/Thinking
Fun Crap on the Web
Podcasts/Public Radio

I forgot SLEEP.

How fragile we are

2011-03-11T07:01:00.000-08:00

The devastation in Japan is heartbreaking, incredibly shocking. I can't believe how huge it is. I feel very sad for the people of Japan.

Considering a move

2011-03-06T13:24:00.001-08:00

I just created a tumblr blog: As Yet Untitled

I might move this blog to there, depending on how it goes. It's a lot easier to use.

The New Pornographers - Moves

2011-02-18T20:18:00.000-08:00

This is awesome.

Renovation

2011-02-15T04:37:00.000-08:00

I'm about to kick up a lot of dust. The blog needs a redesign, as does my life. It's been a fun three years of playing, but I have to question whether it's getting me anywhere. I've always cautioned others that Sacramento is a bit like the land of the lotus eaters, but I don't think I've fully taken it to heart. Now that I've established a career (whether I like it or not), it's time to get a move on in other parts of my life.

Making real changes

2011-01-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

I always begin the new year with the grandest of plans. I usually plan to become an entirely different person, although I know this to be wholly unrealistic. So this year I hope to focus on just two things:

1) Making exercise a part of my daily routine
2) Being nice, supportive and loving of myself.

It will probably take all my energy to bring the 2nd goal to fruition.

Approaching Zazen (seated meditation)

2011-01-15T12:37:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to keep up a regular sitting mediation practice for about at year. This video is a great introduction.

Sweet home

2011-01-07T20:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that, as much as I love Sacramento, I could love Chicago a hundred times more.

Ideas

2011-01-03T06:53:00.000-08:00

I need to make sure I carry around my notebook, because yesterday I had an innovative idea but today I can't remember what it was. It was possibly my first idea that wasn't the result of being in pain, unlike when I thought of gel-filled insoles (which you may know as Dr. Scholl's), and inflatable tent bottom (which apparently doesn't work so well).

New Year's Resolution

2011-01-01T17:22:00.001-08:00

I had a preliminary list of resolutions that included about 10 items. They were good, things like developing more quality relationships and being healthy and sustainable. But after spending the day with my big basket of cranky thoughts, I've resolved to make a single resolution:

I resolve do whatever is necessary to be my highest and best self.

I like this one.

The end of 2010

2010-12-31T08:59:00.000-08:00

I was going to do a retrospective and reflect on the year, but I decided I don't want to. Life is, on balance, awesome.

Hey Man, Nice Shot

2010-12-30T17:41:00.000-08:00

Wish Tyreke would have done that when I saw them lose to the Warriors last week!

Food fantasy

2010-12-28T06:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I spent the day making a list of all the restaurants I want to try but have never visited. Some of them have been in Sac for a while, others are newer additions. Without further ado:

1. Mulvaney's
2. The Waterboy
3. Had's
4. Cafe Marika
5. Moxie
6. Swabbies
7. Tuli Bistro
8. Taylor's Kitchen
9. The Kitchen (if a special comes up)
10. Taste (in Plymouth)
11. Jim-Denny's
12. Bangkok @ 12

Juice Fast, Day 1: Accomplished

2010-12-26T09:45:00.000-08:00

I can tell you, the reactions from my Facebook friends to my fasting plan were pretty funny. Lots of jokes about Juice Newton, juice fests, meat and booze.

Particularly amusing was my friend Eric's quip: "Mmm...barley juice. Mmm...fermented grape juice..."

Booze. I want an old fashioned glass, filled with scotch, neat, so badly right now. Which is odd, given I rarely crave alcohol in the morning unless I've had a crazy night and need a bloody mary to speed recovery. (There is, fortunately, a juice fast version of a bloody mary).

I can tell you that I enjoy how quickly the juicer I am using works its way through fruits and veggies. It's very easy to clean as well. But the prep is a bear. I thought that I'd have time to clean my room yesterday but aside from the 4 hours I spent out of the house, I was chained to the kitchen, constantly washing and chopping vegetables. Fortunately, yesterday was the day I had to make 3 days worth of vegetable broth and green vegetable juice (carrots, cabbage, kale, spinach, celery, apple and garlic). Today should mellow out a bit. I only have to juice my mid-morning, lunch and dessert drinks.

I also found myself quite sad to take the vegetables I used to make my broth out of what was a perfectly tasty soup, as the fast requires. Given how dang much money I spent on this project, I decided to keep the veggies and make a soup out of them. I can use that to break my fast on Tuesday.

A component of this fast that I seem to be largely ignoring is the spiritual/emotional elements. The author of the book recommends journaling, meditating and doing yoga daily (which I already do), as well as conscious bathing and skin brushing (which I think are goofy). She also recommended the creation of an altar. This last task I approached with gusto. Now my living room is home to a tiny Buddha, several lotus flowers, an OM-shaped incense holder and my lovely new organic cotton zafu cushion.

I think I was also supposed to unplug and not hang out so much for this fast, which should be easy given I'm not allowed to eat much food. However, I'm incurably social, so I went to see The Black Swan and visited friends for a holiday open house. So far today I've gone to Nordstrom Rack, and I'm supposed to go to my yoga teacher's going-away party tonight. I'll probably try to go to a movie too.

I suppose it really is the case that I have to leave civilization to fully retreat. As a result, I'm saving up for a retreat, hopefully in late April.

Getting my house in order

2010-12-24T08:56:00.000-08:00

I'm taking the rest of the year off work, starting around noon today. While I'm not as far along at work as I'd hoped, I am done enough to get the heck out of dodge and not think about the place.

My apartment continues to be a disaster. I spent the past year away from it so much that I didn't want to deal with it at all. I set up a tension between hanging out with my many friends and taking care of myself and my house. I think this is the case even though I probably spent $2K on yoga and yoga-related stuff. I neglected the fact that having a cozy and inviting home is a big part of my sense of well-being.

Also, despite the aforementioned yoga and developing the ability to run without serious pain, I got fat this year. I didn't ride my bike to work half as much as I did last year, I drank too much Rubicon beer and went out to eat entirely too much for my health and my pocketbook. And I ate too many muffins from the cafe in my building.

So I'll be spending my week off work cleaning every nook and cranny, purging all the clothes I keep hoping I'll mend or alter (or perhaps I will pay someone to do that), taking things to the dump and the goodwill. And to kickstart my weight loss and efforts to regain balance in my life, I'll be doing yoga every day and going on a 3-day juice fast, starting tomorrow. Since it's always amusing to observe how people react to fasts, I'll post my thoughts here.

Merry Christmas!

Realism

2010-12-12T07:25:00.001-08:00

So, the daily prompt thing is not going to work for me. This month is really busy and I seem to be dragging in most areas of my life. I can't seem to motivate myself to get to the gym, to meditate, to clean, or even to work. I don't know if I'm just burned out or if there is something else going on.

Make

2010-12-05T22:30:00.000-08:00

I might or might not go back and fill in the blanks for the earlier prompts. Everyday I run out of time.

Without further adieu:
December 6 – Make.

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

I suppose that the last thing I made was turkey chili. I'm not convinced that's what the prompt's author had in mind, but that's my response. What this really highlights is how little time I'm devoting to creativity. When I'm done with this crazy project at work, I'll take stock and make time for making things.

Writing

2010-12-02T21:38:00.000-08:00

Prompt: What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
(Author: Leo Babauta)

I do a lot of things that don't contribute to my writing, however, I'm not entirely certain that I'm all that devoted to writing at the moment. Despite this, I have habits that interfere with my goals, like watching television when I could be meditating, or partying when I could be taking better care of my living space.

Can I eliminate them? Sure, but I think there's a wholesale change that needs to happen, one that recognizes that I can do everything, but it means that I can't do anything well.

Reverb10

2010-12-01T22:08:00.000-08:00

The lovely Madeleine posted her commitment to write on the prompts posted daily in December at reverb10, and it sounded like a good way to keep the blogging ball rolling, so I'm joining the fun.

Today's prompt?

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

Harried

Harried signifies 2010 for me,because I've spent the year trying to live up to an unreasonable ideal. It has manifested in my insistence on doing everything and being all things to everyone. I don't know if it's because I had few friends as a kid and am still afraid that if I say no to something, no one will invite me to anything, or if I am still making up for social time lost to grad school, but the past year I haven't been able to say no to anything or anyone. It's made for unconscious eating and spending and talking and to paraphrase/bastardize a friend, it's been fun, but not always fulfilling. In 2011, I would like my word to be content, and for me to spend the year cultivating more depth of relationships and projects, rather than the somewhat scattershot approach of 2010.

Commitment Conundrum

2010-11-30T23:28:00.000-08:00

Getting halfway decent at my job is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Right up there with actually finishing undergrad without losing it, writing my thesis and quitting smoking.

When I was not much younger than I am now, I really struggled to feel as if I could ever put together anything more than a well-crafted memo, and I wondered whether public policy was a good career choice for me. The past three years at my job have tormented me, broken me down, aged me, made me fat and thin and shaken my confidence in my intellect to my core. On the other hand, the past year has given me a sense of mastery that I've yearned for since finishing high school, and the stress has led me to a meditation and yoga practice that is good for me no matter what the circumstances.

So, while I think I can say that I finally feel mostly competent at my job, I'm frustrated and unsure of what to do next. Unfortunately, whether by ingrained habit or fundamental nature, my tendency to think globally instead of linearly, to cast a wide net instead of mastering a contained set of principles, my allergy to incrementalism, this is my occupational Achilles' heel, and I'm stuck where I am in my organization until I change. However, I sincerely question whether that is possible to the degree it is expected of me. Absolutely no one has been able to help me crack this nut, not least of all myself. Some of the tools that worked to get me through calculus -- X-files, practicing smoke rings-- are no longer viable rewards. Given the value my office places on this ability, it begs the question of whether I ought to move on, because I would like to make more money, and the set of skills I've already amassed might work fine somewhere else. I also feel like I should be further along in my career by now, and I could be managing people in a different environment. I think that in a lot of ways I have good boss skills, and that I'll be a better team leader than a grunt. And as always, I try not to despair at how much I struggle with project and time management.

This nexus of competence and frustration is where wanderlust and commitment come to do battle.

Just FYI

2010-11-26T12:23:00.000-08:00

I don't care what you think of my apartment. It suits my needs and it's the best I can get for the money, of which I do not have a lot.

Sometimes people can be jerks!

Stray cat

2010-11-23T07:06:00.000-08:00

It's going to be cold tonight. I'm worried about the stray cat who drives me crazy. He hangs around my apartment complex because my downstairs neighbors have continued the practice of feeding him that my previous neighbor started last summer. I have mixed feelings about this cat because he has sprayed my car and my front door. But I am not heartless, and the fact that it's going to be 20 degrees overnight has me concerned for his welfare. He has chosen the ledge outside my kitchen window as his place to sleep, instead of under someone's car in the carport. I am thinking of setting up a crate or box with towels and food for him, but I doubt he'll use it.

Burdens

2010-11-21T21:50:00.001-08:00

It's funny how commitment is conditional. It's interesting and sad how relationships can be too. It's also fascinating to discover where that line is, and how surprised I am when I'm confronted with the fact that I'm not as un-self-conscious as I think I am.

That was one of the topics of discussion in my meditation class this morning. It's also a recurring thought for me in my continuing exploration of and fascination with my social compulsion.

In the moment, I tend to do things because I want to and feel moved to be generous. But in retrospect I am often frustrated if I don't feel adequately acknowledged. I have a strong need for reciprocity, or at least a need to be thanked when I go out of my way to express my appreciation for someone. I'm probably not as direct about this as I could be-- I was raised by emotionally stingy parents-- but I also think that courtesy dictates a certain level of appreciation that I often don't feel like I receive.

On the other hand, if I feel like I need it, maybe I'm not acting from a place of unconditional love and acceptance. Given how difficult it is for me to access that, I wouldn't be surprised.

Pledge drive

2010-11-20T07:43:00.000-08:00

Alec Baldwin did a series of NPR pledge pitches for the most recent funding drive, and This American Life posted them on their web site.

Enjoy!

Fun videos

2010-11-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

Too much stuff going on to post anything thoughtful today!

Law and Order

2010-11-15T00:13:00.000-08:00

My life is chaotic and I make no bones about that, but in my efforts to always be up for anything and everything, I've allowed myself to completely ignore the maintenance and upkeep on my apartment. Sometimes I think living in the present moment (a basic tenet of the zen meditation and yoga practices to which I'm dedicated) thwarts our efforts to stay organized. It's almost as if responding from a unified/integrated place to immediate stimuli also means completely forgetting the total downer of responsibility. I'm sure I'm thinking about this incorrectly.

I loathe the cycle of excess and austerity that often characterizes my life. I would say that the sense of mania that used to color my appraisal of my social life has not been present for some time, but my life is just as stuffed as it was when I was new at my job and trying to be all things to all people.

I'm not the only one, either. I have several friends who keep themselves busy to the point of insanity. I'm going to put a stop to it soon for myself, because I'm simply treading water in a lot of areas of my life, when I'd prefer to be making progress. It will be hard, because I so enjoy the company of other people. Perhaps it is time, once again, to enjoy my own companionship more.

So many educational opportunities

2010-11-14T12:53:00.000-08:00

The NY Times has an interactive budget puzzle to help people understand the nature of the structural budget deficit and the short-term deficit. It uses proposals from the Obama administration as well as the recent draft report from the deficit commission to help people see how EVERYTHING has to be part of the solution.

It is a pretty cool tool, however, it oversimplifies the matter, because although everyone can find something to love as well as something to loathe, it doesn't address the third-rail nature of tax cuts and defense spending, nor does it address the improbability that our ideologically divided congress will even be able to develop a grand bargain that everyone can hold their nose and say "Aye" for. Not only are these proposals anathema to half the legislature, but they have to be packaged together. This, unlike the healthcare bill, is no place for incrementalism.

While I believe that only Democrats can implement entitlement reform, I also think only Republicans can lead the charge for higher taxes. Unfortunately, we don't have much in the way of statespeople in charge of the House right now. The next 3-5 years are going to be politically hideous.

A short lapse

2010-11-13T09:22:00.001-08:00

I haven't posted for three days, because I'm suffering from excessive optimism about my ability to be in all places at all times. So, while I'm supposed to be cleaning my apartment this month, I have been instead traipsing about town with various pals and drinking entirely too much beer. I manage to fit working into my escapades, but little else household-related stuff.

After today, things will be better.

5000!

2010-11-09T04:46:00.000-08:00

The previous post was my 5000th. In honor of such a milestone, I'm commemorating another. The text below is from quitnet.com.

My Stats:
Your Quit Date is: 11/8/2006 12:30:00 AM
Time Smoke-Free: 1462 days, 4 hours, 19 minutes and 40 seconds

Cigarettes NOT smoked: 14622
Lifetime Saved: 3 months, 21 days, 16 hours
Money Saved: $3,655.00

Four years ago I quit smoking. I haven't had a cigarette since. Go me!

Ego and Friendship

2010-11-08T23:20:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons I practice yoga and meditation is to free myself from my ego, if only for a little while. My ego is strong-willed and fragile. Some might ascribe these qualities to me directly, but I think that's unfair, as I am always striving to get beyond them. However, I do acknowledge that in some circumstances I can have a very difficult time of it. One such circumstance is in friendship. At times, I think I process these relationships in a completely different way than most people (and I am not saying this to stroke my ego, because this really pains me). In particular, I can be very attached to the idea of loyalty. I live by the notion that, if I call someone a friend, I am obligated to them. I should try to be available when they want to hang out and defend their honor in a duel, should that opportunity ever present itself. If they are having a party and I'm not sick or previously engaged, I should try to make it. If there are certain activities which we have always done together, then they should be the person I think of when similar activities arise. If they send me a text message and I receive it, I should respond as quickly as possible. In turn, I have a tendency to expect the same from others. I've been told that these expectations are a burden for people. I suppose I can see what they mean. But, I can't lie and say that, when I don't feel like my efforts are reciprocated, my feelings aren't hurt. It will be my greatest achievement if I can move beyond this.

Old friends

2010-11-07T17:10:00.000-08:00

I have only a few pals from high school that I still keep in touch with, mostly through my facebook account, as I am sure the case is for most people. One of my favorite things about facebook is its ability to bring together long-lost friends. A friend of mine in DC whose family emigrated to the US during the Bosnian conflict under cover of night was reunited with her childhood best friend via facebook last year. I came across some childhood chums on the site myself, although I feel like bugging them will make me seem like a stalker. But today, facebook places proved itself amazingly useful.

A few weeks ago I found one of my best friends from high school on facebook. We were pals beginning in 9th grade, when I looked him up in the phone book to call and ask him why all the boys liked a girl I found fairly unmemorable. Somehow, this started a fast friendship, and we became study partners, car restoration co-conspirators, partiers in crime, et cetera, et cetera, despite having pretty different social circles and school personas. He joined the Navy after high school and has since been traipsing around the world working on fighter jets ever since. It's fitting, since he restored his parents' Chevy Camaro Berlinetta when we were in high school.

We were last in the same place in 2000, when I worked in Seattle and he was stationed at Whidbey Island, WA. The economy whisked me off to Sacramento shortly thereafter and he went to Spain, Bahrain, Illinois, who knows where else over the past 10 years. Now, he's back in California, but near LA, but happened to be in Nevada for some secret Navy work thing and decided to go to Reno with some friends yesterday. It just so happens, I went to Reno with friends yesterday myself. So when I checked facebook this morning to post some inane status update about my partying ways and saw his facebook places checkin- "Nursing a hangover - at Eldorado Casino & Hotel," I freaked and posted a hysterical message on his update. Then, realizing he probably wasn't glued to the computer like I always am, I sent him a facebook message and an e-mail with my number. He called me 10 minutes later. I met him at the buffet and we chatted for about 45 minutes before I had to run down the mountain to beat the snowstorm. It was so great to see him again and it really made my weekend. Hooray for facebook.

New babies, old thoughts

2010-11-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

In the past two months, several friends of mine have had babies. Two boys, one girl. It's kind of insane just how many people I know are pregnant. I have to remind myself that, over the course of their lives, most women will have a baby. This still seems weird to me in these most modern of times, when the majority of my friends are well-educated, have good jobs and are not Mormon (which, if you asked a younger version of me, the lack of these characteristics would be associated with not having kids).

I like my friends' babies, but still I cannot imagine myself having one of my own. When I was younger and my body hurt more often, I could easily heed warnings I'd been given from doctors that pregnancy would be too hard on me. I also vowed I'd never have kids while I couldn't put anyone's needs before my own, and while I struggled with managing rage and suspicion. Now that, through my yoga and meditation practices, I've found a basic level of physical strength and mental balance I didn't know I could achieve, I'd expect I'd feel a little more open to childbearing, but I don't. Generally, I'm fine with that, but I kind of feel a gulf opening between me and most of my friends at this age. However, I also know that this is my concern, not theirs, and that I'm responsible for how I ultimately process this development.

Thoughts on the 2010 Midterm Elections

2010-11-03T06:26:00.000-07:00

I missed posting yesterday because I had to run to a coworker's going-away party, then book it to yoga, then rush to an election watching party. I fell asleep as soon as I got home. Perhaps I'll post twice today to account for the difference. Here's some jumbled thoughts about last night's returns.

I can't say I wasn't disappointed by the red wave that engulfed the country last night, especially in places like Illinois, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. Illinois went red because Rod Blagojevich, like so many Illinois governors before him, was either corrupt, incompetent, or both. Pennsylvania and Wisconsin because they are rust belt states with intractable problems no one has fixed in years. I don't think the way to fix our current economic woes, which arguably is what drove this shift (which, as Matt Yglesias pointed out, is still better than Dems were doing from 2005-2008) is to cut taxes and public spending and dismantle the healthcare bill. I don't know exactly what public spending we intend to cut, given that no one's come up with a solution for medicare and the republicans won't touch defense spending, so I'm not sure what better policies we might get out of this wave of anger. I am not in love with the health care bill, but it seems absurd that we would want to reverse many of its provisions. I'm pretty sure most people like the idea of getting to keep their coverage when they get sick and that all children have coverage regardless of preexisting conditions. I also wish we could all grasp that our insistence on private coverage is inherently inefficient, and we are committing to paying more, and distributing access unequally, because of that. If we soberly admit that our current system consigns many people to a life characterized by chronic illness (rather than the more treatable acute) and significant health care debt, maybe we can start to see how pooling our resources can ease the burden for all.

But I don't really think last night was about the healthcare bill's specific provisions-- though I'm sure there's still uneasiness about the false bogeymen that many have heard about (death panels?)-- I think Americans are reacting to a lot of change-- not necessarily legislative in nature. The housing market declines, unemployment (structural and cyclical), no puppies in every backyard nor unicorn rides to school. For some reason, this seems to push folks away from innovation and towards isolation. It's the job of our elected officials to balance the fear with the need to invest in the future. For a bit, we had folks that focused on the future and appeared to dismiss the immediate concerns of the electorate, or at least appeared unresponsive. Now, the balance of power has shifted to those who appear more responsive to the immediate concerns of the populace (whether they are or not is another post), at the expense of those future concerns. It sure would be nice if we could balance the two.

So what's the takeaway? I've been ardently following politics and policy for the past 15 years or so, and I'm inclined to agree with Jon Stewart's argument that our political discourse is not helping us. And I would include in this all the snobby comments liberals make about people who vote for conservatives. I thought that Barack Obama would usher in an era of civil discourse in which our politicians might begin to speak to us like adults, to articulate the trade-offs necessary for the country to enact and benefit from good policies, and enable us to finally move forward, at least a little bit, from the distrust that has built up since probably the beginning of time. I think there's a significant role for news organizations to play in this. I realize the complaints about horse-race coverage are cliched at this point, but it doesn't make them any less true. I heard a lot of stories about voter unrest, but only last week did I hear something that represented my perspective on the current climate - that you can't rebuild Rome in a day, that the policies we've implemented are working incrementally, and that the current incumbents deserve a chance to fully implement their agenda. I know, it's not sexy, but I think it represents the views of at least a plurality of voters, which is more than I can say for a lot of what gets passed off as widespread public opinion, depending on your news source of choice.

Staying Healthy

2010-11-01T23:25:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I have a demanding job. Unfortunately, despite efforts to remain healthy, my insistence on maintaining a social life despite work obligations often takes its toll. This may be one of those times. I've been unusually sneezy the past few days and have been waking up with a bit of a sore throat. It's funny how the body always knows what it needs. I was desperate for orange juice this morning. I guess my body was trying to fight the inevitable.

It's really quite a bummer, because I've got a big weekend ahead and I would like to enjoy myself and avoid being a typhoid Mary. Good thing I've got a fresh bottle of Zicam.

Getting back on the horse

2010-10-31T12:09:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned, because this year I'm participating in NaBloPoMo, aka National Blog Posting Month, a project that encourages bloggers to post every day in the month of November.

I've gotten away from blogging so significantly I actually think it's become bad for my well-being. And besides, I think a daily blog post will be nice addition to my (intended) daily yoga and meditation practices. The main reason I've stopped posting regularly is because I haven't felt comfortable posting anything personal (remember the Bee xmas post incident?. While this is probably good for my professional life, I can't help but feel like not writing about my life is keeping me from making progress. I suppose I'll spend the next month trying to find a balance between the productive and the narcissistic. Hope you enjoy it.

The power of good journalism and good people

2010-09-15T20:01:00.000-07:00

Nick Kristof wrote about an orphan in Zimbabwe who struggled to get to school each day because the round trip took him 6 hours. He lived in a hut with 4 other kids whose parents had died. Children, banding together like the boxcar children to take care of each other in a banana republic. The story amazes me and breaks my heart.

But I am heartened, because the follow-up story is so great. An aid organization that provides bicycles to poor communities gave the boy, and 199 other individuals in his area, a bike. World Bicycle Relief provides bikes to people in poor and remote areas to increase access. But beyond that, they've taken the time to build relationships and create incentives that make the program sustainable-- protecting girls who ride them to school, training mechanics to support local economies, trading good oversight for free bikes.

Awesome. Truly.

Kindle?

2010-08-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about the iPad, the netbook and the Kindle and how each of them could provide me a better reading experience than my BlackBerry.

I have previously expressed my dislike for Apple's stylus-free touchscreen approach to keyboardless devices. I continue to hold this view, and am thus a little reluctant to jump on the iPad bandwagon, though it does appear to be an amazing device that might yet fill the void in my life that the death of all those handtops I was fixated on about 5-6 years ago created. (I simply can't get what I need from the smartphone/netbook/mp3 player combo, and my Dell Axim couldn't cut it either.)

Given that my needs are a bit different, I can live without the handtop now, but I am starting to like the idea of a larger-screened device for reading the news and books. Thus, Kindle seems to make sense. So today, I downloaded the Kindle app for BlackBerry and read the first chapter of Stretch: The Unlikely Making of a Yoga Dude. Once again I must admit, reading on the BlackBerry is frustrating because the screen is simply too small-- it necessitates a crapload of scrolling. Unfortunately, this app doesn't really assist me with the decision of whether to purchase a Kindle, because I imagine the full screen experience of the Kindle to be quite different.

On the other hand, it's a wonder I'm entertaining this purchase at all, given my dentist told me that I need braces, and that they cost about $3000- $4500.

New blog!

2010-08-17T22:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in ages. I know, it's a broken record around here. I write things, mostly about how much I love yoga and meditation and all they've done for my quality of life. I write these things and leave them in draft form. I don't feel comfortable yammering on about surya namaskara and sirasana (got it, today!) or my newfound fascination with Ashtanga (for which I'm not even certain my body is built).

Maybe I will start to chronicle my yoga practice here more. It would get me used to writing quickly again, which could be a very good thing.

Bionic Cat

2010-06-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

This video of Oscar the bionic cat makes my eyes water every time I watch it.

The only thing on my mind- the care and feeding of my cat

2010-06-15T06:31:00.001-07:00

I haven't written much about it here, but for the past 11 months, Mitzie has required more care and attention. She's 16 years old, so it's to be expected. I haven't traveled much since last August, but I'm newly assigned to a work project that will require me to travel for weeks at a time, and I don't feel comfortable relying on my friends to watch her the whole time. It's not that I don't trust them, more that I feel like I'm imposing on them, despite the fact that I watch people's houses and pets when they are gone whenever I am asked. I've been gone for two weeks in the past month, and I'll be traveling for the next several weeks. It seems like too much all at once.

I need to find a pet sitter, but I can't afford the rates charged by professional pet-sitting services. In addition, Mitzie's age and continuing illnesses have prevented me from getting her rabies vaccination this year. She never goes outside and never encounters other animals, but petsitters tend to require proof of current vaccinations. Also, given Mitzie's weakened immune system, I'm not sure I want her coming in contact with someone that's around so many animals.

For the same reasons, boarding her at a pet hotel is out of the question. I wish I had neighbors or friends with kids that I could pay $35 a week to watch her. It's summer, so I imagine checking on her twice a day would be less problematic than it would be other times of the year.

If anyone reads this and knows anyone that could help me, feel free to drop me a line.

Janelle Monae

2010-05-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

I am completely fascinated by this woman, her music, her video, her aesthetic, her personal history:

Back in the saddle

2010-05-16T02:38:00.001-07:00

I've been horrid at making time to post to my blog for the past 6 weeks, so I thought I'd remedy that since I can't sleep (ate too much pizza at Hot Italian and now I have heartburn).

Life has been interesting. I am working on a new project at the office and trying to adjust to new supervisors and team members. I can't tell whether its the looming summer or a more generalize malaise, but I feel like I need to make some significant changes to my life or risk total stagnation. This realization hasn't come easily or pleasantly, but hopefully I can use it push myself onto bigger and better things.

On a positive note, I've been riding my bike much more consistently this year, which is always good for my sense of well-being.

Internet gems

2010-04-04T00:55:00.000-07:00

It's not every day I hear my voice emanating from my computer speakers, but the first pronunciation of "floccinaucinihilipilification" sounds just like me.

This action isn't so nice. I don't recommend it.

Consciousness is exhausting

2010-03-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

I haven't been to my yoga studio for movement or meditation class in almost two weeks. And while I've been to yoga at the gym, the lack of sitting meditation practice shows. I've been crabby and overly sensitive for the past two weeks, snapping at folks when its totally unwarranted and fighting back tears at the slightest mention of an opinion that doesn't jive with my own. I'm also sleeping poorly. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the obliviously bitchy blamer I once was, ignoring the effects my cyclic and situational irritability has on others and blithely attributing my actions to others' provocations.

Alas, once you've seen the light, you have to take responsibility. I think the whirlwind of my life is starting to get to me. I might have to take a break next month. At the moment, I have no clue what that means, other than going to the gym more. All I know is, it takes more time and effort to be thoughtful and conscious than I have space for in my life at the moment.

My (semi-) famous friends

2010-03-13T00:10:00.000-08:00

I always wished I were more than I was. I have an inferiority complex, because some of the people I went to college with are famous. Mostly famous and not-so-famous actors, but not entirely. For instance, I just went searching for white wing tip oxfords on the J. CREW web site and found a friend who slept on my couch half the summer between my sophomore and junior years in college. She also borrowed my copy of my favorite book at the time, White Noise by Don Delillo, but I don't think I ever got it back.

The notion that J. Crew would do a catalog featuring interesting artists as models would have floored us all back in college. It sure is fun seeing Naomi turn the stereotype on its head.

Short Films

2010-02-28T14:23:00.000-08:00

Last night, some friends and I went to the Crest to see the Oscar-nominated animated shorts, which included a new Wallace and Gromit short, Partly Cloudy (the short that opened before UP), and a fantastic Canadian filmette called Runaway Train. But the standout was Logorama a French critique of our capitalist society. Worth it if you can find a video online, or go see it at the Crest. If you have a Capital Public Radio Perks card, you can get matinee price admission anytime.

Perplexity

2010-02-21T15:15:00.000-08:00

This has been such an odd month. Despite being very short in days, it feels interminably long. I've run out of money twice and I still have a week to go, despite doing not much of anything but watching shows on hulu and the Olympics on television. Oh, and going to yoga and meditation classes.

I'm spectacularly unmotivated. I wanted to do a good job of using up all my vegetables in my CSA boxes for this month, which have been exceptionally varied and good. But the pile of carrots and leeks I want to make into a soup are sitting in the fridge untouched.

Sigh. Where's my mojo?

Also, this commercial is hilarious:

Olympics!

2010-02-13T12:03:00.001-08:00

I am head over heels in LOVE with the Vancouver 2010 mascots:

They are the best mascots ever designed. I love their origin story video. I also really enjoyed how the opening ceremony integrated the First Nations. Go Canada!

I was saddened by the death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili-- he was so young. I can only hope that he was not in pain. The video is very hard to watch, and I wish that news organizations would stop showing it, even in truncated form. The winter olympics are particularly dangerous, and this accident is a sobering reminder of that.

In happier news, the Olympics comes on in less than two hours and I need to pick a knitting project to try to start and finish over the next 16 days (because I can't finish sweaters in years, let alone weeks). That eliminates full sweaters but makes shrugs, shawls, hats, scarves, gloves/mittens, socks and vests very likely. I'll post what I'm making when I figure it out.

Greatest pork chop known to man

2010-02-08T23:35:00.000-08:00

I missed my weekly blog post because I spent the weekend in San Francisco with Princezz O'Phun. On Dan's recommendation, I made reservations for us at Nopa, the awesomest restaurant evar. It is so awesome, in fact, that when I told Dan we might be too hungry/tired to wait until 10pm (the earliest I could get a table reserved) and thus might go elsewhere (can you say Dosa?), he admonished me IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!

So, we went. We were not disappointed. Far from it. In fact, suffused with the warmth and uninhibitedness of two Maker's Marks on the rocks, a Lagunitas IPA and the most tasty Syrah-Carignan blend from Ft. Ross, I was overcome, and proclaimed my pork chop the greatest pork chop ever made.

During a retelling of my adventure, my cubemate suggested I might be exaggerating on the quality of this particular chop, but I was not.

In addition, Princezz had duck with butternut squash, spinach and risotto. I don't like duck. I find it oily and heavy. But this duck? I could eat all day long.

We started with brussel sprouts and ended with a blood orange tart.

Have mercy on me, that meal was amazing. And the dinner conversation with P's friend and his gf was fantastic too!

Walls are overrated

2010-01-30T18:19:00.000-08:00

I've been idly researching new apartments for the past few months. I got a microscopic raise at work-- nothing that could lift me out of the quagmire of debt only a lotto jackpot could deliver me from--but enough to get me thinking about moving out of these monk-quality quarters.

Of course, I dream a lot bigger than I can afford. It just seems like, even with the rental market the best its been in years, that the set of amenities and the amount of space I want just can't be had for the price I can pay. In six months maybe, when I've paid off my car repairs and recovered from my summer of cat illness, car break-ins and travel, but not now. And I don't know if the market conditions will hold that long anyway.

Given that I will probably never be satisfied with any conventional California dwelling I might rent, I find myself dreaming of lodgings unusual and ideal for me, and none of them look like the HGTV Dream Home.

When I see my ideal lodging in my mind's eye, it's a giant open floor plan loft. With glossy hardwood floors, laid on the diagonal. In fact, it could be the showroom floor at the West Elm in DC, though much more eclectic. Big arched windows cover two walls, and built-in bookshelves on the other two. There's a clawfoot tub with a shower curtain suspended from the ceiling. A huge kitchen island with a built-in stove and sink sits under a hanging pot rack laden with copper cookware. A reading nook is created by a set of chairs, small bookcase, lamp and fireplace. Tables throughout the space are covered with various projects. Finally, a network of curtain rods provide temporary space separation, for things like uninterrupted sleep.

It would be such a nice space. Anyone got an atypical lodging story to share?

Nostalgia

2010-01-28T23:44:00.000-08:00

It's weird to have nostalgia for the last 10 years, but I guess I am old enough for that now. Sabs just posted her list of the top 100 songs of the decade, and she included a personal favorite of mine, Cinerama's Your Charms.

Sabrina met David Gedge, I met the hot Finnish drummer. And saw them with Ballboy, also included on her list. Those were good times, when I went to shows with regular relish. I miss my 20s.

2010 Goals

2010-01-25T20:22:00.000-08:00

Every January, I say something about my goals, resolutions and intentions for the new year. Every year, I win some and I lose some.

This year is no different, in that my 43things.com page has no less than 14* "resolutions," several of which are amazing, kick-in-the-pants, big hairy audacious goals. Others are daily habits I sure would like to finally automate, especially working hard, listening better and meditating. Without further ado, the list:

1. Do one thing that scares me every month.
2. Train for the Emigrant Trails Bike Trek
3. Redesign my blog
4. Meditate
5. Put more effort into my career development
6. Put more effort into my appearance
7. Commit to a yoga lifestyle
8. Blog at least once a week
9. Make time for knitting
10. Listen better
11. Make time for music
12. Drink more water
13. Work as hard as I can, as much as I can.

* I took out one, realizing that it's pretty mundane.

Unraveling

2010-01-21T10:42:00.000-08:00

My twitter bio reads "Always trying to do too much."

It stands as the perfect testament to my personality. And it represents an untenable position. One that prevents me from excelling in anything, because I find everything too interesting and can't set priorities.

Indeed, as I sit here on my couch, chores of cleaning my excessively dirty kitchen, scooping the cat box, vacuuming, doing 6 weeks of laundry and going to the bank, mall and grocery store waiting for me, I am instead trying to catch up on 3 weeks of neglected blog-reading, listening to NPR so as to stay abreast of the days news and fluff stories, perusing itunes for the latest, reading movie reviews written about films I won't ever have the time to see and putting off my yoga practice, I see that something, really, has got to give.

I didn't even mention all the work I've got lined up for myself in terms of networking with professors and my rigid insistence that I never sacrifice social events for other obligations.

When did I become so disciplinedly undisciplined?

Challenges

2010-01-06T23:48:00.001-08:00

I decided to challenge myself to a duel this month. I noticed that, in the course of adding meat back into my diet about 6 years ago, that I also gave myself leave to be incredibly lenient about what went in my mouth when eating at restaurants or grabbing food items during a particularly demanding week at work. This has led to higher cholesterol level than I would prefer, and with the specter of high blood pressure and heart disease looming in my parents and grandparents, I'm keen to avoid the attendant middle-aged malaises that go along with excessive meat consumption.

Thus far, that has not been difficult. What is far more challenging has been my secondary challenge: abstaining from alcohol. I had to make an exception because my wine-tasting club had a previously scheduled meeting, for which I was providing the wine. And going to friends' houses, meeting up for drinks after work, etc, have been more difficult to do. I'm going to a Dine Downtown dinner on the 14th and am at a loss for how to consume fine cuisine without a fine wine complement.

I suppose I will learn. Fortunately, Grange is offering a vegetarian selection for each course!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T13:46:00.000-08:00

I had a great New Year's Day open house yesterday. I decided to make the things that my family always ate to welcome the new year-- black-eyed peas and ham, spinach dip in a bread bowl, cheese logs. Since none of these things come in single servings, I decided to have an open house. I figured maybe 10 people would filter their way through my place over the course of the day.

Awesomely, significantly more than a few of my pals came by. It pleased me greatly to have everyone stuffed into my living room and kitchen. I ran out of peas and we drank all the wine and then some.

It was a fantastic way to start the new year.

Run to Feed the Hungry

2009-11-18T09:16:00.001-08:00

Like they always used to say in the Looney Tunes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

For years, I have railed against the Run to Feed the Hungry, largely because I become trapped in my neighborhood on Thanksgiving morning. I have two grocery stores within a short, but not really walkable distance (especially not on a day when I have so much cooking to do), and my routes to both are cut off by the runners at just the time that I need to run to the store.

Usually, I remember to make a donation to Sacramento Food Bank and Family Services, the organization the run benefits, but I have balked at insisting on the recognition that goes along with getting up early and traipsing through East Sacramento with 28,000 of my neighbors.

This year, however, I have seen the light. While it is admirable that I might remember to give to charity without the prompting of zealous runners, many people will not. I can capitalize on our natural sense of altruism and holiday guilt to encourage others to sponsor my participation as well.

Best of all, I don't have to run.

So, if you want to help me raise $250 for the food bank, visit the link below:

https://secure2.merchantcart.net/fth//MyWebPage.cfm?pID=423408

November the First

2009-11-01T20:14:00.000-08:00

Time to list my goals for the month. I can't believe that 2009 is nearly over.

Despite my struggles with work and friends, this year was super awesome. I'm determined to make the most of the remainder. So, without further ado, November goals:

1) Work out at least 4 times per week, including 30 minutes of cardio and 2 strength training sessions.
2) Cook meals at home 3 nights a week.
3) Bring my lunch to work 3 days a week.
4) Do yoga twice a week.
5) Revise resume by November 10th.
6) Finish 2 knitting projects.
7) Clean and organize the kitchen.
8) Practice guitar and clarinet once a week.
9) Continue with exercises in How of Happiness
10) NaPoBloMo

That's enough.

Simplicity Goals for the Week

2009-10-26T08:21:00.001-07:00

I am losing my mind lately. I have no time to do anything well and I feel very rushed in everything. I suppose this is because I try to do too much, but I don't know where to start to make it stop. I receive a weekly newsletter from a life coach with self-care tips (something I never thought I would need), and I am posting them here to remind myself.

Allow yourself to rest when you get sick.
Stay in one evening and read under the blankets.
Are you hiding any purchases from a significant other?
Declutter your bedside tables.
Get to the bottom of one paper pile.
Quit obsessing about perfection and enjoy life as it is.
Get back to a childlike wonder at holidays instead of only thinking about the work.

They don't all apply to me, but I will try to do at least numbers 2, 4,5, and 6.

Read more from the site at: http://www.mysimplerlife.com/blog/

Chronicle

2009-10-18T09:45:00.000-07:00

I never thought my life would be so busy I wouldn't have time to record any of it on my blog anymore. I suppose it's all a matter of priorities.

So, that I might know how I'm frittering away my life, a list of my recent exploits:

Saturday, October 3, 2009

To celebrate CC's birthday, I went with CC, BB and KS to the Amador Big Crush. For $35 we got a commemorative glass and visited 7 wineries for samples, paltry food items and terrible music. Fortunately, some of the wine was excellent. I was compelled to purchase the Primabera and Barbera from Karmere Vineyards and several bottles from Sobon Estate. I also really enjoyed the wines at C.G. Di-Arie, and am fascinated by the winemaker's past as the inventor of Capn' Crunch cereal. I wouldn't recommend Renwood, at least for customer service.

Saturday October 10, 2009

My bowling league went on a bike crawl. I happened to stop into Bicycle Chef the morning of the crawl to buy a new helmet and learned of another crawl in the area that was starting there. We began our crawl at Bike Kitchen. We stopped at Golden Bear, Capitol Garage, Bicycle Chef (free Monkey Knife Fight!), One Speed and Socal's. The pizza at One Speed was fantastic. We all had a great time.

After Socals, BB, CC, KS and I went to Chance's 1st birthday party. Good times.

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

We hiked the Feather Falls trail. I was fine until the last mile and a half, when the trail steadily climbed upward with no leveling off to speak of. The hike in is a leisurely 4.5 miles. The other side of the trail is a deceptively shorter 3.3 mile trail. I'm certain I would have gotten out faster on the longer trail, but I'm glad I know the difference between the two. Next time I will take the shorter, more strenuous trail on the way in. Although it's a long hike (8-9 miles, 4-5 hours), it's nothing most folks can't handle.

Totally unacceptable

2009-09-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a month. This is ridiculous. I miss the time for reflecting that blogging would afford me. I also miss how well it helped me organize my thoughts.

It's been a crazy summer. Summers always get away from me and fail to rise to the expectations I set for them. This has been the case since I was a little kid, when I would plan to clean and organize my room, read every book on the summer reading list and learn to sew (notice how ALL of those are still on my to-do list?).

I think I have hit the wall. I spent last winter and spring trying to justify the notion that it is okay for me to be a mess, but the consequences of this philosophy are just unacceptable to me. Therefore, I have to get.my.shit.together. Once and for all.

I have been working non-stop for the past month without a day off, and I attribute this largely to an inexplicable unwillingness to push myself.

What kind of bullshit is that? It is as if I had completely exhausted all the energy and creativity I normally associate with my identity. In fact, in my search for a label to explain my lack of success in career and relationships, I've been doing a lot of reading about psychological deficits. Of course I've found myself to possess each of them in great measure, which is both ridiculous and impossible.

I'm taking a different tack this fall. I need to focus on succeeding, not cataloguing failures. I'll be reading about positive psychology, making time to be organized, to read, to knit and to spend time with a bunch of friends I've been neglecting. And bowling.

Closures

2009-08-19T10:18:00.001-07:00

I just noticed that Infusion at 17th and K streets is closed up and the floating bubble chairs are gone. Does anyone have the scoop on the shop's apparent demise? I used to love that place. Sadface.

Are there any other local establishment closures that I should be aware of?

Bunny Army

2009-07-20T06:26:00.001-07:00

Bunny Army
Originally uploaded by calilily

I have lots of babies to make these for. Great idea!

Obstinate

2009-07-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

I always do this, and it's generally an unconscious process. I pick a habit to take up, or a bad habit to stop. I set a deadline. It all seems reasonable. And then I do the exact opposite, in the most extreme manner possible. For instance, if I think that I will go to the gym everyday for a week, I can be certain that I will not go to the gym at all, and that I will move as little as possible. Or if I decide I won't eat sweets, the next day will find me consuming every sugary confection in sight. Yesterday, I thought to myself that I would try being vegetarian for the rest of the month. I know how to be vegetarian; I was meat-free for almost 8 years.

So what did I buy at the grocery store today? Beef pinwheels and smoked turkey lunch meat.

Kids in adult spaces

2009-07-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, a debate emerged in the pages of some liberal navel-gazing publication like New York Magazine that questioned/lamented the death of adult spaces. At issue was the increasing intrusion of babies and small children into cafes and brunch-oriented establishments. Several restaurants and cafes in (Chicago neighborhood) Andersonville had posted notices alerting customers that they would, in fact, refuse service to obnoxious children. This, of course, sent rich parents in to an entitlement-fueled tizzy, strenuously arguing that their money was just as good as anyone else's. The article presented both sides' arguments cogently, and was very reasonable with respect to the adults-only perspective, which I found refreshing. As a non-breeder with a cascade of friends having babies, I am mostly not conflicted by this. I think that if your baby is crying for more than a minute, you should take the baby outside and deal with it. Or, alternatively, feed it. That usually does the trick. However, since hanging with babies is about the only way I get to see many of my friends these days, I admit that it does give me pause sometimes.

Harlows: Favored Indie Venue

2009-07-11T19:55:00.001-07:00

I saw Blitzen Trapper at Harlows on Thursday night. If you like 70s bluesy/country rock, this is a band for you. The show was straight-ahead from the first song to the last, with nary a hiccup in between, just a pack of guys that really enjoy working together and who really know how to play their instruments. The three most charismatic members--Eric the pint-sized keyboard/guitar/harmonica-playing lead singer (evocative of Bob Dylan, obviously), Erik the curly redheaded and bearded bespectacled rhythm guitarist and singer, and Brian, who plays the drums, sings, and sports a serious 70s beard--are enthusiastic front men who really made the show a joy to experience. It doesn't hurt that they fucking rawk, either:

I often lament that Sacramento gets so few indie bands of medium stature. Once they are big enough to play a venue like the Memorial Auditorium (like Death Cab for Cutie-which are no longer indie anyway, I suppose), the fun of seeing them is somewhat diminished for me. Even so, I am grateful for the bands that decide to grace us with their presence, and so much the better if they choose Harlows for that purpose. Harlows has great sound and is just the right size. After seeing a few shows there in recent years, I admit that the swirly multi-colored walls and the remodeled booths provide for better mobility and views throughout the venue. Now if only they would dump those lights that always seem to swivel around directing piercing beams into my eyes, all would be perfect.

Fitness Diary

2009-07-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

JillianMichaels.com recently re-launched with a selection of lifestyle management tools, like a food log, a fitness log and a meal planner. At first glance, I thought it was a great improvement, but I was seriously wrong.

It all blows. Why is it that these sites can't adapt to a real human's lifestyle? To complete all my logs, I would have to devote as much time as I do to working out. So instead, I am going to use my blog as a fitness log.

Maybe, as a result, I will actually lose the 20 pounds I have been trying to get rid of for two years.

Exercise:
Commute by bike to/from work
Yoga Challenge

Notes: Strain/leg cramping during Warrior III means I need to work on quad and hip strength.

Food:
Breakfast - coffee, low-cal muffin
Lunch - butter chicken, chana masala, naan, basmati rice, tandoori chicken, diet coke
Dinner - Lunchmeat (lazy!)

1 pint guinness 250

Thoughts on Fun and Fitness

2009-07-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to get back into posting regularly on my blog, perhaps because I've burdened my return with too many expectations.

I've also been having a lot of fun, which used to translate into a lot of breathless retellings of my adventures but are now so numerous that I haven't the time to catalogue my many exploits (blame the rise of text messaging and the ubiquity of twitter and facebook for that). I do enjoy all the fun times a great deal, but I am missing a few things, which I will not use today's missive to dwell upon.

In the spirit of focusing on the positive, I will note that one thing I no longer lack is health and fitness, and I believe that that has contributed greatly to my improved outlook. I've made a commitment to myself to do yoga at least once a week, and I've been getting good use out of my bike. Being able to breathe freely and depend on my body is so liberating. I'm trying to take it to the next level and encountering difficulties both with my diet and workout intensity. I've recently joined jillianmichaels.com for circuit workouts and, I had hoped, easy-to-follow menus, though that is proving less the case. The workouts are great, but I can't seem to force myself to actually complete them. Since I'm 25 days from my birthday, I'm going to make a concerted effort to get serious about my workouts and my diet. I'm sitting here watching the Wimbledon men's final, which has thus far been a display of classic tennis, and I am itching to get in good enough shape to play again. I realize I say that every summer, but I feel like it's more in my reach than ever before.

One Day, One Thing

2009-06-07T17:36:00.001-07:00

I have a to-do list on my refrigerator that I created at the beginning of 2008. It contains items like "organize all papers," "create vision board," "learn to sail," "revise resume," "redesign blog," etc.

I have done exactly none of these things in nearly 18 months. In retrospect, that seems like plenty of time to accomplish these minor project goals. This is because I failed to consider the fact that I am a compulsive socializer. Present me with an opportunity to hang out with people and there is a very high likelihood that I will take it, even if the activity does not reflect my usual interests. I used to have more synergy between hanging out and my hobbies, so at least there was time for crafts, but lately I can't even seem to pick up needles and yarn.

I think I have too much unstructured time on my hands, which is to say that I don't have enough regular obligations to make me stay focused. So instead I fill up my time with fun, but not necessarily fulfilling, activities. I think I'm going to limit my social activities after this week, which is already full. I have something to do every single night this week.

Maybe I should skip pubquiz tonight. Then again, routine is a good thing.

Bits and Bobs

2009-06-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

I am listening to Douglas Rushkoff on On Point, a show I don't get to listen to very often since it's not on any of the NPR stations I have regular access to. Based on what I'm hearing, I think I'd like to read Rushkoff's new book, Life, but a little bit of me is jealous that I didn't write this book. It sounds like a synthesis of a lot of contemporary social critiques, like Bowling Alone, Jpod, The Omnivores Dilemma, The Corporation, Your Money or Your Life/Affluenza, Natural Capitalism and The Creative Class.

Signal-to-Noise Ratio

2009-06-01T00:17:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I had lunch with a former coworker, from my science curriculum developer days. Said colleague is one that I enjoyed working with tremendously, and now works for one of my favorite Sacramento-based organizations. After catching up on life events, the topic turned to aging. He is about 10 years my senior, though you wouldn't know it to look at him, and we were discussing the ways in which the brain changes with age. One of the things he noted was that he can more quickly determine what is important in an analysis, whereas a younger person thinks everything is important. I think my brain is evolving in a different direction because of my fascination with and growing dependence on the internet to discover and retrieve information. I've been somewhat wedded to the idea of myself as a divergent thinker, and generally have sought to cultivate my free-associating mind. I remember that I was once a very directed thinker, and was frustrated by the plodding nature of thought I would experience. Now that I've swung in the opposite direction, I think it's time to seek a better balance. I monitor myself with fair amount of vigilance, so I feel justified in a renewed effort to restructure, once again, my thinking. Over the past months, I've felt like my brain has been less able to differentiate between important and erroneous information. I have also noticed with increasing alarm that writing does not flow from my fingers as if from on high so much as I have a quick-running editor in my head constantly checking word choice and order, causing me to back up, switch, rephrase, etc. I second-guess myself much more than I used to. In generic cognitive psychology terms, I fear that I have become the word-chain-generating automaton whose existence Noam Chomsky sought to refute when he penned the sentence "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously."

I think I'm out of practice. I've spent the last year being busy, and I have lost structured thinking in the process. Oddly, being under pressure does not have the effect it once did; no longer does it spur me to excellent action. My work products are as crappy as ever. The scourge of multi-tasking and the lure of instant information access has made me lazy.

In at least one domain, I know I can make significant improvements: writing. So I've challenged myself to write something with a clear structure that tackles a complex idea every single day in the month of June. I suppose I'm getting nerdy again. I'll be posting here.

Getting Posty, and Public!

2009-05-26T18:05:00.000-07:00

I have decided to unblock my blog from public view. I accept that the Bee has no staff to offer the common courtesy of a notification before publishing our content, and I am putting my trust in the license I already added to the site. Hopefully it's not too late to re-establish myself as a decent local blogger.

I used to tell you everything

2009-04-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

The sixth anniversary of my blog approaches. It took me some time to negotiate the ways of the burgeoning blogosphere, learning how to say what I needed without being too revealing. Over time, that became less tenable, as everyone converged on the web and it transitioned from an anonymous domain to a public square. My career changed too, and while policy and politics drove me to blogging in the first place, I started working at jobs where my politics could be a liability if directly associated with the work I do. I found that not discussing my personal life nor my politics leaves me with little to write about aside from various exploits about town, thus rendering my blog an electronic version of my eighth-grade diary.

Flexing the writing muscle

2009-04-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

One of my goals for the month of April is to blog more. I set up my new host for my web site, postcardsfromsacramento.net, yesterday. It's not live yet, but it will hopefully be so by the end of this weekend.

The first quarter of 2009 is over, and I've made decent progress on some of my goals for the year. I began seeing a counselor at Sac State, I've been going to the gym more regularly, and I continue to try to not suck. In addition, I'm about to finish designing, and then I will subsequently commence production of, a purple bracelet, meant to help me quit complaining and stay centered inspired by A Complaint-Free World.

Given that twitter, facebook and workpapers have constituted the majority of my writing opportunities for some time now, I'm giving myself permission to fail to contstruct a good conclusion to this post. Hopefully everything gets better by the end of the next quarter.

Less talking, more blogging

2009-03-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

I really need to start blogging again. It is a good outlet for my need to talk incessantly. I'm working on my new web site today. In the interest of expediency, I am going to use an existing template and tweak from there. This, coupled with my decision to revise my thesis for a student research competition, should make me less annoying to be around for a while.

El Dorado County Wine Tasting

2009-03-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, a former coworker breezed into town. Though we'd been experiencing endless rainstorms, this Saturday morning the clouds parted, the sun shone, and the average daytime temperature increased about 15 degrees. This former coworker friend has an interesting childlike appreciation for natural beauty, and so all of us were bemused that nature would oblige him so sincerely.

We had previously determined that we would go wine-tasting in Napa, but our driver, another coworker who graciously offered to play chauffeur, decided that a shorter ride up to El Dorado Hills would be better suited to the day. Having never been wine-tasting in Placerville Wine Country, and having spent a fair amount of time in Napa, I was amenable to the change of plans.

We had lunch in downtown Placerville at a moderately fancy restaurant masquerading as a cantina, where I indulged in brocheta-- grilled steak with bacon and onions served with cilantro rice, beans with queso fresca, and salad, and the obligatory tortillas (I always choose corn). It was quite tasty and everyone seemed to enjoy their meal.

From the cantina we headed to our first winery, Boeger Winery. Boeger has lovely grounds and a well-appointed tasting room. The complimentary tasting flight offers a choice of five tastes from a reasonable selection of whites, reds, dessert and rose wines. I sampled the Sauvignon Blanc, Primitivo, Vin Rose, Hangtown Red, Muscat and one of their Zinfandels. All were decent, but none blew me away. I can't help but wonder whether my lunch was interfering with my ability to appreciate the wine, because I was fairly receptive to the wines (not to mention the presentation) at the next spot we hit: Madrona Vineyards.

Madrona's tasting room is overseen by a regal black cat named Theo, who will bite you if you hover too long or he simply isn't in the mood. Madrona's tasting room is a wooden box, cozy with a pot-bellied stove in the corner, next to Theo's throne. Apparently, this vineyard is also home to the largest Madrone tree (pictured). Madrona offers an extensive and generously poured complimentary tasting flight (and a nominally priced reserve flight too) presided over by a very very knowledgeable and deservedly proud staff. I very much enjoyed most of the Madrona wines, but the Shiraz/Cab and Dry Riesling were good enough for me to part with my hard-earned credit dollar.

Our last stop was per my request, the well-decorated Lava Cap Winery. I've sampled Lava Cap at various locations about town and recently heard good things about their wine club, and so I was curious to sample their oeuvre. Unfortunately, and confidential to the people who pour the tastes at Lava Cap, it takes more than a little splash to actually taste the wine. It's barely enough to get a flavor on the tongue, and not sufficient to get a sense of aroma and bouquet. Even so, I purchased a bottle of the 2005 Reserve Cabernet Franc.

I was pleasantly surprised by the bevy of great local wineries just east of Sacramento. It is truly a wonderful thing to live in this place, surrounded by mountains, lakes, rivers, farms and of course, wineries. A trip to any number of wine countries (Lodi, Amador, El Dorado, etc.) awaits!

Enough!

2009-02-15T13:27:00.000-08:00

My poor, neglected blog. My poor, neglected brain.

The world of Twitter, 43things.com, Facebook status updates and the BlackBerry have ruined my ability to write more than a few lines, and consequently to think at any great length about anything at all. I've found myself relying more and more on talking and reading than thinking and writing.

I am becoming concerned about the effects of the undercurrent of constant information crowding out the time for directed thought. I am completely overloaded in all aspects of my life, and it's not for a lack of desperately trying to stay on top of it all. I realize that this is characteristic of me in general, but for the first time I feel like this isn't a crisis of my own doing.

So, God help me, I am simplifying my life. And, in order to keep my mind and my writing chops sharp, I'm sharing, publicly on this blog (so to speak) a goal I recently posted to 43things.com: "Write an essay a week." I won't be able to work up to that level for a while, so for the time being I am going to give myself an interim goal of writing a book report on my book club's current selection: The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism. I ain't done reading it yet, but look for a post by late February.